Advertisements

Children are the worst investment

mother-daughter-love-sunset-51953

One of my husband’s favorite things to say is “children are the worst investment, because you can put just about everything you have in them and they still turn out bad.”

So true! How many times have we seen this play out? How often do we hear parents say, “we treated all of our three children the same and this one just went their own way.” And this is truly not a reflection on the parents. As parents we can only do the best we can and hope for the best return on our investment.

Family – my family is very important to me. It was imperative to us that we raised children that had our same core values and knew they could tell us anything and could always come home no matter what. I find that in today’s society with so many social distractions for children this can be very difficult to do.

We have been able to do this so far and I really truly attribute it to keeping open lines of communication and honesty. We can’t expect kids to be open and honest with us if we are not with them. If our kids were bad at piano recital we tell them they were bad. If they missed a goal at soccer and lost the game, we let them know that too. We love our children but they are not our friends and we do not give them any undeserved trophies. We are able to bring them down with honesty but of course we are there to console them always.

I think the main thing is to start early – before they go off to preschool. It is important to establish the expectations early on.

Reinforce and reward positive behavior and punish negative behavior.  This will make them appreciate your reaction to the wins even more.

Be open and honest with them and in turn they will give you the same courtesy. I want to trust that they are where they say they will be at all times.

We had monthly family meetings in our household from when the kids were very young. This was an open forum where each person (including us parents) talked about what was going on in every aspect of our life – personal, social, family, school/work. This was a free zone where the kids could let us know about issues at school, with their friends or even with us. They could let us know if there was something we as parents were doing that they did not like. This is a place where they knew they could tell us anything without repercussions. Over time, they felt comfortable enough to discuss these things outside of the family meetings.

By all means my children are not perfect and are still a work in progress. But I believe they have been given the tools to make it in life. We have invested wisely in them and hope to have good returns on our investment over time.

My favorite things to say to my kids is:                                                                                            1 – Always respect yourself                                                                                                                                2 – I want to be able to vouch for you always without perjuring myself

Please leave your thoughts below. Let me know if you agree or disagree

J

Advertisements

10 ways to get over the doldrums and get yourself motivated right now

pexels-photo-345415.jpeg

Have you ever had days where you feel like doing nothing? Days where it is a little harder to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. No I am not talking about depression – that is a whole different issue. If you are depressed, please seek medical attention as this is a serious health condition. What I am talking about is what can happen when you are just overwhelmed by all of life’s daily to do list. When it gets hard to get and keep yourself motivated to accomplish your daily tasks.

These are just a few ways that I have found can help you get over the doldrums

1- Take a snow day. Yep you heard it.   Pretend you are back in elementary school and there has been a blizzard.  Go ahead call in sick and take the day off. This can also be called a mental health break. There is no better therapy than to just take time off and do nothing. Sleep in and stay home in your pajamas. You will be so much better the next day and ready to tackle your life again

2- Go ahead book yourself a massage. Don’t underextimate the power of the total complete relaxation that comes from strong hands kneading and untangling those tangled and tired muscles. Do it! You will thank me later!

3- Medidation. Yes get into it! I know most people find it really difficult to do but it takes lots of practice to perfect it. Being able to clear your mind to meditate is quite an art. I find it is best to start with maybe 5 minutes then build up gradually. The benefits have been documented medically for lowering the heart rate and blood pressure.

4- Do you yoga? Getting into your mind and body the only way yoga can will help to relieve the daily stresses of life. And you get to lenghten and limber up your muscles at the same time

5- Exercise. Nothing beats a little sweating and some heavy breathing to get your endorphins going. Whether you are walking, running, doing a class or in the weight room – what ever form your exercise takes, it is a good way to clear your head and get back in the game of life.

6- Do you enjoy reading or writing. This will guaranteed temporarily take your mind off this world and get it into another. It allows you some time to recharge.

7- Are you creative? This is another good way to unwind. What are you good at? Is it painting, drawing, pottery, jewelry making etc. My personal favorite is cooking. It is so relaxing to be in the kitchen, chopping and dicing and mixing and coming up with something amazing!

8- A good soak in the tub never hurt anyone. Another excellent way to unwind if you don’t like massages – not that I understand why any one would not like a good massage. Add some aromatherapy oils and soak it in

9- Watch a moivie or binge watch a TV series or just listen to music.  This is called media therapy. Another way to immerse yourself in a different world until you are ready to get back into yours

10. Go ahead, call a friend and go out to breakfast, lunch, happy hour (my personal favorite) or dinner. Relaxing with a friend or your significant other over the beverage of your choice, talking and laughing will elevate your mood everytime.

I hope one, two, several or all of these suggestions will help you get out that funk.                                                                                                                                              Do you have other suggestions to add to my list?

Please leave your comments below and thanks for reading

J

 

 

3 quotes 3 days: day 3

Hi fellow bloggers. Last day of my 3 quote a day challenge. Thank you Laura for the nom. Please go check out Laura’s blog at Alltheshoesiwear.

My quotes today have to do with heartbreak ❤️. I hope you never experience it!

-Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you’d been before the fall.

Jodi Picoult

-Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Mark Twain

-Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Kahlil Gibran

My nominees are:

Iscriblr

Sam

Byluis

Looking forward to your quotes and thanks for all the follows.

J

3 quotes 3 days: day 2

Again thanks to the amazing Laura from AlltheshoesIwear for nominating me. Be sure to check out her blog.

My quotes for today are:

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

~ Erica Jong

Live with no excuses and love with no regrets

~ Montel

The be-all and end-all of life should not be to get rich, but to enrich the world.

~B. C. Forbes

Thanks for reading.

Leave comments below

3 quotes 3 days: day 1

I was nominated by Laura for the 3 quote a day for 3 days challenge. If you haven’t please go visit her amazing site Alltheshoesiwear. Laura is a prolific blogger who blogs about everything and it is always a joy a read her posts.

These are my quotes:

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Mae West

My nominees are:

1- Exploring the epiphany

2- Positive guider

3- Soul gifts

2 ways to raise socially conscious kids

I most definitely don’t proclaim to be an expert in child rearing, but I have learned a few things over the years raising my 2 children. I think we have done one or two things right because our kids are very much socially conscious.

I can only really atribute it to 2 things. Teaching them to be global citizens and teaching them the act of giving.

First and foremost, kids must be thought to be global citizens. They must be aware of the world beyond theirs. We are all interconnected as humans and geography is the only thing that separates us. It was important to us, that from an early age, our kids travel and be comfortable traveling. We try to travel to a different country every summer. We make it educational as well as fun. The kids are required to research whichever country we are traveling to – they must know the culture, the government, cuisine, currency etc. This allows them to engage and to learn.

I know a couple that travel with their children the same way but they let the children spend a day or two in a school classroom with kids their age immersing in that culture in a different way.

I know people are reluctant to travel with their young children because they don’t think the kids will do well on a long flight or think these trips are wasted on them. I totally disagree. Children will adapt to what you expose them to. So if you start early with the travel, in our case as early as 2 years old, they get used to it pretty quickly. And you would be surprised what they retain from these travels. So now that they are older we have no qualms about them traveling abroad on their own because we have given them the tools from an early age.

Yes, I realize travel can be expensive, but there are many ways to travel on a budget. And traveling does not have to be out of the country. It could be as simple as getting in a car, a train, or a bus to a different state. You would be suprised how the culture can differ from one state to the other.

Another important way to raise social awareness in your kids is by encouraging children to give back from an early age. The art of giving can be done either financially, with goods or with your time. It is not enough to tell your kids to eat all their vegetables because there are kids starving in so and so place. You actually need to show them.

How do we show them? Well, there are several ways. For instance, when you pack up all those old clothes for donation, take the kids with you to Goodwill, or wherever you are donating to let them see where their things are going. Also take them from time to time to a homeless shelter to help feed the homeless. Around thanksgiving is the best time to do this. Let them pick a charity that they can save towards from their allowance and at the end of the year, send the donation to that charity. How nice when they get that letter from the charity thanking them. One of my children spent some time at a Salvation Army one summer, helping them organize the donation items they got from people – it was such a rewarding experience.

When children are socially conscious, they are overall more accepting and tolerant human beings. We want our kids to treat all people no matter their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation with equal respect.

These are 2 things that we have done in our family, but I’m sure there are many other ways.

Please share your ideas below.

The Liebster award

Hi again. Special thank you to Nash Christmas who blogs about all sorts of interesting subjects. Please visit this site and see what I’m talking about!

The Liebster award is an internet award where you are nominated by other bloggers who consider your blog interesting.

Rules for this award:

1.Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you, link to their blog.

2.Include award graphic.
3.Answer the questions provided.
4.Make a new set of 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
5.Nominate 5-11 others and share your post with them so they see it.

Answers for Nash:

1.If you close your eyes and say the word “Happiness,” what is the first thing that pops into your mind ?

-my family.

2.If you were to eat one thing only for the rest of your life, what would it be ?

– salad- I know I’m weird

3.What do you consider to be your best feature and why ?

– I am very kind

4.Name one thing that someone said you could not do yet you did it ?

– become a doctor

5.Does your family have a weird or funny nickname for you ?

– Jojo

6. Are you a follower or a leader?

– definitely a leader.

7.What do you value more in other people?

-Honesty and loyalty.

8.What is the craziest dare you ever did?

– parasailing- I can’t swim

9.Have you ever picked your nose while driving ?

– of course

10.What/who would you die for ?

-my children

11.Have you ever used or been told a pickup line and what is it ?

– this was used on me: “your eyes are like a crystal ball, I can see my future with you.”

And my nominees are:

1. Jessica

2. The non alcoholic student

3. Eliza Rudolf

4. Laura Bailey

4. the britchy one

Questions for my nominees:

1- Do you prefer the desert or ocean?

2- What is your favorite city in the world?

3- What is your favorite meal?

3- Online shopping or mall shopping?

4- Favorite movie?

5- Dogs or cats?

6- What is your best form of relaxation?

7- Why do you blog?

8- Are you a morning or night person?

9- Do you like rollercoasters?

10- Do you prefer tea or coffee?

11- What is your dream car?

Congrats to all the nominees. Keep up the wonderful blogging!

And thanks for all the follows and support.

Hugs, J

 

MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD

954401A8-ADFC-4783-AEEB-7617A3AE127B

Hi all, I was so excited to receive this nomination for the mystery blogger award from personalgrowthsuccessblog. Please visit her site and check out her inspirational posts. It took me a while to acknowledge this amazing award since I’m still new to blogging and trying to figure out everything. I am truly honored
What is the mystery blogger award?

“Its an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.”Created by Okoto Enigma

THE RULES
* Put the award logo/image on your blog and list the rules
* Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
* Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
* Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
* You have to nominate 10-20 people
* Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
* Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice
* Share a link to your best post

3 THINGS ABOUT ME:
1. I love to run and have done many half marathons with a goal of running a full someday                                                                     2. I love to travel – just about anywhere
3. Family time is very important to me

5 QUESTIONS FOR MY NOMINEES:

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

2. If you could be anyone, who would you be?

3. What inspires you?

4. What is your guilty pleasure?

5. Do you sing?

MY NOMINEES:

Sim

Jerry Perri

Be bold stand back up

Quirky Kay

Nidhi

Express the gabbiness

Tracy Joan Reid

Niky

Booksandstuff431

Nash

It was so hard getting this list together. But these are some awesome bloggers that I have come to look forward to their posts. Please show them some love and visit their sites. Again thanks for the nomination

LIVE! BALANCE!

Quality over Quantity 10 ways to improve your quality of life.

Hugs, J

Acceptable reasons to not respond to a text/phone call/email

There are a few things that drive me absolutely crazy and people not responding to texts, emails, phone calls are at the top of my list this week.  Telemarketers and people on your do not call list not included – it is always okay to hang up on or not respond to their messages. Today in 2018, there are so many modes of communication, yet some people either don’t or won’t respond.  I actually think its rude and absolutely bad manners. I know our parents taught us better.

This is my list of acceptable reasons to not respond to a message

1- You just lost all your fingers in a fourth of July fireworks explosion. Random? This actually happens a lot- ask any trauma surgeon.

2- Your cell phone, computer and land line phone have all been lost or confiscated by the FBI, CIA, ISIS, KGB? Or distroyed in above explosion. Could happen I guess

3- You are the leader of the free world and in the middle of a state of the union address or press conference or threat of war with North Korea. This is a weak excuse as even The Donald finds time to tweet at night

4- You are a cardiac or brain surgeon and literally holding these important organs in your hands. Okay I will accept any type of doctor so long as you are in the middle of saving a life.

5- You are on a plane with no wifi. Kinda rare today. But I expect a call back as soon as you land

6- You are anywhere with no wifi or reception. A cave. Mars. Under a rock. Yet I just saw a Facebook and/or instagram post from you – ummm?

7- You are in the hospital. Acceptable only if you are there as a patient and only if you are in a coma or hooked up to a ventilator

8- You are dead. This is the only real acceptable reason. Caution- don’t do this to prove a point!!!

Any other reason is totally frivolous, unacceptable and just plain rude!

And just so you know, I’m not a total Diva.  I do not need an immediate response.  If I send a message during normal business hours, then I expect a response that day- within 3-6 hours I think is acceptable. If I send a message after 9pm, then it is reasonable to expect a response the next day as some people go to sleep early. And I do not need a long drawn out response. A response could be a simple “sorry can’t talk now, catch up later” or “I’m fine talk later” or just a simple answer to a question that was posed in the message. Apple makes it so easy where you can send a thumbs up/down, love, laugh, exclaim or question response to a text message- you just press the icon- 2 seconds tops.

When you don’t respond, my assumption is that you either have no respect for me or you could care less why I called or you believe you are so much more important than I am. It all boils down to simple etiquette which will lead to your  loosing friends or if in business situation, you could definitely loose clients.

Imagine someone standing in front of you talking and you just stare at them without saying anything – wierd and rude right?

So next time, a message comes in, please do look at it and respond. Consider the feelings of the person on the other side.

Does this bother you as much as it bothers me?

Do you agree with my list?

Do you have other acceptable reasons that I missed?

Please leave your comments below.

I have lists for my lists

 

 

pexels-photo-210661

 

Please tell me that I am not alone in this.

Do you make lists for everything?

I do!

pen-calendar-to-do-checklist

Everyone I know tells me that I am the most organized person they know. And I pride myself in my ability to be organized and multitask and get more done in a day than most people can in a week. I am pretty obsessed with getting things done, so much so that some may consider it pathologic. I just call it a way of life. Okay fine, I’m a little bit anal retentive- Type A if you will.

For me, the biggest stress in life is being disorganized, not having a plan or having gaps of time when nothing is happening. I hate that feeling and I never want to feel stressed out. This is not to say that I don’t like free time lounging like the next person. It’s just that most of my lounging time is scheduled unless I’m on vacation then the lists go out the window.

First I have a master list where I write down my long term goals. Be a better person, loose some weight, career goals, run a marathon etc

Then I start each day with a daily list.

What do I need to accomplish for the day? This list basically takes me through hour by hour from waking to sleeping, what I need to get done for the day. So this list may look something like this and will change from day to day.

This is a sample daily list for the purpose of this blog only.

Then within the main daily list there will be sublists

For instance within my work day I may need to call and schedule an appointment with the dentist or return a phone call or email. If grocery shopping is on my list for the day, then I need a list for the items to buy from the grocery store. If I have a dinner party, I have a list of guests and a list for the menu and one for all the things I need to do to prepare for it, like get hair done, nails, clean house etc.

I have a birthday gift list for family and friends

I have a vacation travel list

I have a list for books I want to read

I start my Christmas gift list in the summer

I have a calender list for major upcoming events

I have a list for my lists- no joke. I make my lists on paper, on my phone, my laptop, wherever I can write something down. I have about 4 different list making apps on my phone. I know it all sounds crazy, but trust me it works. This list making is certainly not for the faint of heart. But the more you do it, the more it becomes second nature. They say it takes about 2 weeks of doing something repetitively (every day) for it to become a habit.

The last thing I do before I go to sleep, is look at my list one last time and see what I was able to get done for that day.

To me, there is no greater sense of accomplishment than to cross items off the to do list. If you find that you could not complete all your tasks for the day, there is nothing wrong with moving it on the next day’s list.

This I find is the best way to get things done and not procrastinate.

Who’s with me?

What lists do you make?

I would love to see your comments below.

Weekly photo challenge

One of my favorite sunsets…

Photo taken in the Dubai Desert

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/rise-set/

Multitasking – how I incorporate reading and exercise

There is so much to do and so little time. Do you feel like you are constantly trying to catch up. Trying to squeeze way too much into 24 hours. That’s how I feel. This is so much worse when you are a mom, a wife or have to work.

When you have to balance getting kids to and from school, their various after school sporting and social activities, making a nutritious dinner, making time for your spouse and still handling your business at work, there is very little time left over for things like reading and exercise. I’ve learned over the years the art of squeezing in these things without making it look like I am. Essentially I have mastered the art of multitasking.

I will share how I incorporate reading and exercise into my daily schedule.

I am a lover of all things books. A few years ago I found that I was not reading like I used to. How can I manage all the aspects of my life and still find time to read. I found out about audiobooks back then but really resisted the idea of them. As a self proclaimed bibliophile I turned up my nose at people who listened to books on tape. What? No actual paper? No turning the pages? No curling up in a corner with a good book?

Well I finally had to give in and go to the dark side and you know what? It’s been the best thing ever.

I can now listen to my books while cooking, cleaning, walking or driving.

Try it. It will change your life.

The second trick I will share is that of making time to exercise. As we know exercise is important for heath maintenance and disease prevention not to mention help us look good in those swimsuits- summer’s coming folks!

With all I have going on making time to exercise is the last thing to make it on the list. But let me ask you this. Do you have a favorite show that you DVR and try to catch up with every night? What about the evening news? One of the late night talk shows? Well if you have an hour to spare watching TV you definitely have time to exercise.

All you need to do is park your treadmill or stationary bike in front of the TV. You would be surprised how many miles you get through by the end of your show.

And if you have spare time you can listen to your audiobook while exercising.

This my friends is multitasking or killing two birds with one stone.

How do you incorporate reading and exercise into your daily life?

Please share your thoughts and suggestions.

%d bloggers like this: